This story was originally published in The Ritual ISSUE 20. You can subscribe here for free and read stories like this every Thursday, direct to your inbox.
To feel lonely, to be alone and to embrace solitude are three entirely different concepts. One feels all consuming when you’re in a room full of people, one encourages internal introspection, and the other is to truly just be on your own.
Recently, writer Rachel Pike penned a cutting essay about the rise of ‘loneliness’ content, and how this is now morphing into a new aesthetic on the social algorithm. And, with 81% of lonely adults reporting anxiety or depression, we wanted to discuss if this social trend promotes helpful or harmful behaviours.
Pike noticed a rise of videos on her feed, each with titles like: “you live alone in NYC and have no friends so your nights look like this” or “you’re single, have no friends, live alone and won’t be having kids so this is your Friday night.”
Pike explains “A typical post shows a young woman, usually a city-dwelling self-described introvert, coming home after a long day at work. She walks into a spotless grey apartment, takes off her shoes, plates a simple dinner, and sits on her couch. She watches TV, drinking sugar-free soda out of a wineglass to make it feel more special. Depending on your perspective, the tone is tranquil and cozy or just kind of bleak. I think of these creators, in their aspiration-coded solitude, as “loneliness influencers.”
With all social content in this format, it usually comes from a place where those who are posting, are seeking connection with others who might live the same life. In a similar sentiment to our interview with Sophie McIntyre in Issue 17 of The Ritual, Sophie spoke of how it used to be taboo to say you had no friends. Which is exactly how one of these ‘loneliness influencers’ describes it. In her comments to Pike, creator Lana Isa shared a similar sentiment “I was a little intimidated,” she said. “I was thinking about people I know from my past seeing it, people judging me. But I felt like maybe there’s a lot more of us out there that are in the same stage of life.”
Posts from people like Lana can help create a sense of community for those who may be lacking it, which is a really important factor to consider when teasing apart if this trend is harmful or not.
So, is it harmful to aestheticise loneliness?
Whilst creating these videos helps promote a sense of connection for these creators, there’s a fine line between the trend transitioning from connection, to promotion and then performance.
Last week’s episode of Culture Club touched on just that. Hosts Maggie Zhou and Jasmine Wallis shared their thoughts on whether romanticising loneliness online risks turning a genuine mental health crisis into an aesthetic - something that looks appealing but obscures the real harm of social disconnection.
Jasmine explains the trend as “regular people who are showing a vulnerability and are choosing to turn that into an identity pillar or a strength”, but the pair do touch on the original article’s concern, that this trend actually centres friend-lessness which edges us toward a normalisation of loneliness. Maggie asks, “I don’t know if I felt uncomfortable about the content … but I did ask is this [content] good for us? Is it good for us to validate these experiences? Yes to some extent, as loneliness is part of the human condition… but we’re centring friend-lessness like an identity trait”. When you put this against the backdrop of the loneliness crisis, it feels like a slippery slope to play in.
Loneliness is something that impacts 1 in 6 people worldwide and it is linked to 871,000 deaths annually, globally (WHO, 2025). It's also a crisis predominantly impacting young people — loneliness peaks between ages 18–29, not in old age as commonly assumed. Those in the top 25% of social media usage frequency are more than twice as likely to experience loneliness (Oregon State University, 2025).
Loneliness is pervasive, but it’s also a privilege to make friends easily and have constant access to a community around you. Both Maggie and Jasmine acknowledge that in the podcast - building networks and community can take time, and can be difficult in a post-COVID era.
But, to our point at the top of this piece, what if it’s not loneliness, but it’s solitude where we’re finding comfort.
The argument for solitude.
Writer Alyssa Forato (ex-Pedestrian TV) penned in her recent Substack, Pin it!, the notion that there’s more nuance to the other side of the experience. Alyssa posits that this isn’t ‘loneliness’ content, rather it is ‘solo content’ that promotes solitude. Social media exists as a highlight reel, and we know this to be true. The weekend rolls around and when you’re without social plans, it can be easy to spiral when you see what everyone else seems to be doing on a Friday night, when you’re at home alone.
Alyssa finds this trend as “a gentle reminder to the viewer that you don’t always need to be out and about doing whatever is considered to be the thing at that moment. The creators who post about romanticising solitude never crowned themselves as ‘loneliness influencers’, The Cut’s article gave them that label. And by doing so, it dismissed the key intention of the content: finding peace in solitude.”
And the research backs it. Solitude can actually be a positive experience to connect with our own wellbeing and mindset.
“Loneliness is not just about our relationships with other people - it’s also about our relationship with our time alone,” says Ethan Kross, U-M professor of psychology. “Our research suggests that learning to view time alone as a positive experience does not only protect people against feeling lonely but also promotes healthy experiences of solitude that promote well-being.”
In short, it’s all a balancing act, this trend can be promoting negative views on connection, whilst also encouraging us to find more moments of solitude. The key is to tune into how you are feeling and identify these moments of either loneliness or solitude. Reflect on how they’re making you feel, and take stock of your social media algorithm to understand if it’s serving you content that helps or hinders.
Looking for tips on how to make more connections IRL? We recently interviewed Izzy Burns from Crush Club for her go-to advice on finding connections with new friends. Read here.
